Category Archives: Freeloads

I am not really sure, but there could still be a warrant out for my arrest in New York State. Maybe it is my paranoia, but I was pretty sure on my way back into Los Angeles from Colombia that I would get stopped by customs and thrown in jail.

It was all the result of a night out in the Lower East Side, Manhattan. As one that easily succumbs to peer pressure, I was convinced by my homie to buy something from the bodega. So naturally I picked a beverage with the most amusing name and the highest alcoholic content. Four Loko enter stage left.

Little did I know that Four Loko was crack in a can. It is a toxic cocktail of alcohol, caffeine, taurine and guarana. The drink has been made illegal in many states including New York, after it has almost killed college students on several occasions. However, there are some Bodegas that still sell it. It is also dirt cheap, though drinking dirt would probably be more enjoyable.

Usually a master of drinking inconspicuously in public, I was busted within seconds of taking my first sip. The police officers insisted that I finish my drink, but gave me a $25 fine for my trouble. Four Loko really tastes like candy flavoured vomit, so during the time it took me to finish it off, I was stopped by two other police patrols. The night after that point was a blur of hyperactive, over confident drunkness, which very nearly got me in more serious trouble.

Anyways, a couple of weeks later I was in Mexico, and hadn’t got around to paying that fine just yet. I get a call from a recorded message, telling me I needed to be in court in Brooklyn the following week or there will be a warrant out for my arrest. Great.

After several unhelpful phone conversations, I am still not sure whether that fine got sorted out. I’m back in Sydney now, but think I would be safer in a country that doesn’t have extradition treaties with the United States. Life of a fugitive.

MP3: Cypress Hill – Insane In The Brain (Extended Version)

MP3: Prince Fatty – Insane In The Brain